So what's it like having MS anyway?
It's like being a patient that just had gastric bypass surgery staring at an all you can eat buffet.
It's like a being diabetic and sitting with a hot fudge sundae in front of you and being told you can't have a single bite.
Like someone who likes to sing more than anything in the world getting laryngitis, losing the ability to even speak and then being taken to a karaoke bar.
The world around me is full of things I can't do. I used to be a tomboy, playing all kinds of games, riding bikes, roller skating, and just plain doing anything physical.
Facebook can be a bit of an enemy. I read about people running marathons, going dancing, playing tennis, lifting weights, roller skating, going for long walks on the beach and I feel like I'm in a bubble all by myself watching people go off and do all the things I long to do.
MS can feel like solitary when it comes to things like that. "Hey, mom, come with us to the roller rink" (and watch everyone else having fun).
I was once told by another MSer (who shall remain nameless for now), "Suck it up, Sunshine." Most days I can. I sleep while others play. I try not to let it get to me but, well, I think it goes without saying. Sometimes is just sucks to be on the sidelines when you want to be a player. I get to be the one handing out Gatorade while someone else gets the touchdown. Fun.
All we can do is keep plugging along. I often feel as you do, on the outside. Instead I've tried to open my eyes to see the many people who struggle as we do; invisibly and silently- but it isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteI think it is especially difficult when you have a child who wants to share so many things with you. Every time you HAVE to rest because of MS is another bitter reminder.
I hope you enjoy blogging!
Kim
Thanks, Kim.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping this helps get some of it out there rather than hidden inside where it can fester.
I hope you find it theraputic!
ReplyDelete